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Go-Jamaica - Transcript
Online Discussion with Rev. Devon Dick
9 April 2003

Question
My friend is not speaking to me for months now. I have called her on a number of occasions and she is always cold. Do I continue? I'm frustrated.
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:12:16 PM)
Give her a break
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Question
I am trying as best as I can to forgive Tony Blair and George Bush for the genocide in Iraq.....I will need all the strength I have.
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:19:00 PM)
I commend you for trying to forgive. Forgiveness is a good thing. Forgiveness sees to resent and anger towards the offender who has inflicted wounds, you need to forgive them. You are right you will need all the strength because forgiveness might seem difficult, unreasonable and unmanageable, but with the help of God and your resolve it can be done, even if it takes time.
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Question
How do I forgive Omar Davis for what he does when keep he gets away with his actions?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:22:14 PM)
It is said that forgiveness is the act of setting someone free, from the obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against you. e.g. a debt forgiven when you free the debt of his obligation to pay back what he owes you.
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Question
70 * 7 what was Jesus saying to me...?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:23:13 PM)
Saying that as often as someone hurts you, you must sees to feel resentment, anger and bitterness towards them. It doesn't matter how often the offence is committed, responsibility is still to forgive.
Question
Is forgiveness in Jamaica just an excuse for people to do the same old thing again?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:24:32 PM)
No! Forgiving those who are wronged us if we fail to forgive we continue the cycle of revenge... its not an excuse but a matter of bringing healing and moving forward.
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Question
WHY IS IT THAT REVENGE SEEMS MORE FULLFILLING THEN FORGIVNESS
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:26:08 PM)
Revenge is natural, it is easier to do, it gives you a feeling of getting even. However, what is happening is like you fighting with a pig in the mud, not realising that the pig is enjoying being filthy. So, though it appears more fulfilling it still leaves bitterness in the heart. Forgiveness is the only thing that can remove the anger, bitterness and resentment.
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Question
So do you think the Iraqis should forgive the coalition forces even though they have destroyed their cities, killed innocent men, women and children all in the name of oil? And should we forgive Bush when he decides to do it again all in the name of what??
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:28:24 PM)
It is said that when individuals refuse to forgive others for the wrong done to them, they are doing the same thing. so instead of holding people hostage for their demands, they are withholding love, virtue. People believe that forgiveness mean they cant be punished for their wrong. But this is not so.
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Question
Forgive but not forget?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:29:45 PM)
There are something's you will forgive but you wont forget. e.g. if someone shot you and you are paralyzed everyday you see the effects of being disabled and you wont forget that you were shot, even though you have forgiven the person. But on the other hand there are some offences that with time you forget.
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Question
If the People I forgive keep hurting me when do I stop?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:30:31 PM)
As often as you are hurt. You get the strength and courage to forgive.
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Question
Do you guys really believe that forgiveness can reduce Crimes?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:32:31 PM)
YES! the major motivation for murders in JA is reprisals or revenge. 32% of the murders were due to reprisals. Therefore, if persons do not seek revenge for killings then the cycle would have been broken and the murder rate could decline. Furthermore, the next major reason for murders in JA, that is 27% has been classified as domestic, so a dose of forgiveness in those situations can help the crime rates.
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Question
How do I forgive some one who has hurt me....I can't seem to forget.
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:34:18 PM)
Forgiveness is not denying the extent of the hurt, denying that the hurt is real but it is an attempt to seize to be bitter in ones own self interest. Not forgiving is like drinking poison and hoping that it will hurt the other person.
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Question
George Phang was shot 17 times the other day, how would you advise him to look at the people who shot him up?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:36:17 PM)
I would give him the advise coming from Pastor Rawle Tyson who was shot and is now paralyzed and in the same incident his good friend was shot and killed. He said he found it hard to forgive at first, but when he was able to forgive he found peace and a release and life is better for him since.
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Question
Why do the good people always have to do the forgiving...? Surely we should be punishing wrongdoers in our society?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:38:15 PM)
The good people have the strength and the character to forgive and the evil people don't. They need to understand that forgiveness does not mean that the person should not be punished for the wrong that they have done. Forgiveness is not synonymous with pardon. Pardon is to let the person off the hook for the consequences of their action. Forgiveness is aimed at releasing ourselves from being bitter to our offenders in other words not punishing ourselves twice.
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Question
To forgive is easily said than done?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:39:58 PM)
True..... but because you understand what it means to be hurt, its not the person who does the hurting is hurt but you. so you are willing to forgive the person so you can be free. The victim is always the person who is hurting and feeling the pain and because of that, that person needs to experience freedom and liberty and that's why you will forgive the wrongdoer.
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Question
I think Ministers of the Gospel should speak about the ills in society. Too much silence now all this talk about forgiveness? What say you?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:40:45 PM)
They are not exclusive, therefore, ministers of the gospel should speak about the ills in society and one of the ills in society is lack of forgiveness.
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Question
Should the ministers of this fraternity be speaking out more about equal rights and justice.... because if their is no Justice there can be no peace.. no forgiveness
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:41:48 PM)
No future without forgiveness just like no peace with justice... things will continue to slide and get worse.... unless we are willing to forgive. We have to find the will to forgive to save our nation.
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Question
How can one move forward when the same bad action is done over and over.. I mean first time shame on the person doing the bad, second time shame on me and the third time that is just being plain stupid.
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:42:49 PM)
Forgiveness is a sensible act. So, if someone robs you of a million dollars and you forgive the next time around you must be more careful with your money.
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Question
I got raped once...how do I forgive the rapists so that i may move on with my life
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:44:55 PM)
When a person is being raped she is being violated. and there is always a demand or ransom to be paid so the rape victim is being held captive to bitterness, so it wont be easy, but it is necessary to release the anger and bitterness and to recognise that you have worth value in spite of being rape, in spite of being the victim. The best days are yet ahead but you have to forgive.
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Question
If forgiveness is the way, should a battered and abused husband forgive his abusive wife... (and note their are abusive wives around) ?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:45:11 PM)
Yes.
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Question
it here a point where u draw the line in forgiving, when you are no longer able to forgive the same person for hurting you.....someone who has made a career of hurting you time and again
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:46:32 PM)
How often do you forgive... is there a limit in forgiveness. God doesn't limit his forgiveness, but you can try to avoid the person if possible, but if they still do then you have to continue to forgive them. Exercise some wisdom and don't try to get hurt.
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Question
Do you really believe what you are saying? Is your heart really that open?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:48:26 PM)
YES!! it is not easy, it is forever necessary, helpful and the most sensible thing to do. It makes no sense to move over the past, to dwell on the hurt, it makes better sense to free one self of bitterness, resentment and anger and move on . Our strength and source to forgive and do you believe it. I can do all things through Christ that strengths me.
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Question
Shouldn't forgiveness be for those people that try to give their opinions as facts about the reason for the war?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:48:56 PM)
Yes.
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Question
Jesus says it is because our Hearts are hard why People Divorce but yet Pastors support divorce if the wife or husband are simply bored of each other or at the first sign of infidelity? Why?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:51:08 PM)
True because of the unwillingness to forgive, again we say that forgiveness involves three elements: injury, a death resulted from the injury and a cancellation of the death. All three elements are essential if forgiveness is to take place. So the destructive nature of the unforgiven spirit is such that is not limited to one relationship, so when a person is wrong in someway whether in marriage, business or friendship rejection occurs. It is really the hardness of the heart, the unwillingness to forgive that brings rejection.
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Question
Pastor when last have you been seriously betrayed? How do you deal with betrayal?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:51:38 PM)
Forigve.... forgive... forgive.
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Question
Is their Forgiveness for Saddam and all the wicked things he did?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:51:49 PM)
YES!!!!!!!!!!
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Question
Another thing pastor if every time I forgive the person does the same thing again, Won't the persons take me as a fool and someone who they can manipulate how do I deal with that?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:53:08 PM)
It is possible that they might think that we are stupid but, forgiveness is a most sensible act. It is freeing ourselves of the pain of resentment and giving ourselves an opportunity to move on to a brighter future. Your meekness is not a sign of weakness.
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Question
Doesn't forgiveness have to start at the top...when we see politicians from opposing parties forgiving each other
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:54:19 PM)
Forgiveness starts at the top when God in Christ Jesus forgave us and set an example for all of us to follow. Therefore, politicians, pastors, workers, family members must all follow that example.
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Question (Apr 9, 2003 7:55:49 PM)
something is missing here .. Ii feel you guys are talking forgiveness in a vacuum. what about love?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:55:49 PM)
Its love why you are willing to forgive... without love you wont be able to forgive... out of love springs forgiveness. it must always be noted that its the victim that needs to forgive the person who has caused the hurt its because you love yourself why you are willing to forgive the person who has cause the hurt. You love life, peace and fellowship.
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Question
By the way Devon, thanks for your wonderful article yesterday on Rev. Cleve Grant.....i didn't know he died until i saw your column.
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:56:21 PM)
Your welcome... keep reading my articles and my book.
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Question
It's all well and good for me to forgive...what about those who need to forgive me...how do I help them
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:57:19 PM)
If they know that they have hurt you, its for the person that hurt you to know that they have hurt you. You can't force a person to forgive you, you can only set the example for them to follow.
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Question
What about the eye for an eye and the tooth for a tooth policy
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:57:54 PM)
That was talking about the punishment must fit the crime. It is not talking about revenge.
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Question
I know everything you say about forgiving is great, but I find it harder to do when I am actually the one that has to do the forgiving..... My Question is it always best to tell the person u are forgiving that you have or can you make them go on thinking you haven't
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:59:40 PM)
Its natural to not wanting to forgive, the easiest thing is always to resent the person but it is for you to be honest with yourself and tell your self that I am going to forgive that person and wont be a hypocrite and be frank and be willing to forgive. Its always easier to conceive the hurt than come forward and face the person.
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Question
You say all these things....but you are still not telling me how to forgive...How do I do it? What are the steps? What are the benefits?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:02:09 PM)
Face the hurt and the pain, if you are going to forgive you must let God search your heart. Decide that you will not retaliate, then decide to forgive. Call the persons by name that you want to forgive and then forgive. You might write the names on a paper and destroy the paper as a sign that you are free from that pain. Do not expect though that if you forgive the person that person will change instead just pray for that person. In addition try to understand the people you have forgiven, they also need help. And then thank God for the lessons you have learnt and recognise that we are not perfect, we have hurt others also.
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Question
Do you think Jamaicans are a forgiving set of people?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:03:47 PM)
Yes and no because you have people who are always willing to forgive.. there are example of mothers who have lost their children in murder cold bloodly and they are willing to forgive. Grace Christy, Heather Little-White and others who have lost their children who were murdered were willing to forgive.
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Question
Ministers of the gospel might as well be called...'Ministers of Offering'
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:04:11 PM)
Please forgive them.
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Question
Ministers should..... look at Jamaicans for Justice, FAST, JIHRC... They speak loud and clear why are the pastors so silent.... Does this Fraternity plan to change this?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:04:38 PM)
And there are christians in those organisations
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Question
jus want to make a comment...one has to learn to forgive in order to be forgiven..its hard yes...you have done what is required of you..the rest is up to the next person
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:04:54 PM)
I agree.
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Question
There comes I time when God does not forgive anymore... and he wipes you out is that not through?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:05:49 PM)
God forgives but he punishes for the crimes.. His forgiveness is unlimited, but because you are forgiven does not mean you wont pay for the crime.
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Question
Okay I like everything you are saying, but be honest isn't it human nature to (at least I know I do) to basically do something no matter who gets hurts when you know that you will be forgiven??????????
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:06:27 PM)
That is a bad idea.
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Question
How do you gives tell the street boy at the stoplights about forgiveness when everday people treat them like dogs...?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:07:08 PM)
Still tell them about it.. its no option, its not something that you have a limit to.
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Question
Unless a man is a Christian or looks to God can he really forgive?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:07:24 PM)
Yes he can.
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Question
Good Question...with that I would like to say....since Saddam is so evil shouldn't America and the rest of the world forgive him instead of resorting to murder
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:07:54 PM)
Forgive him but does not remove him for facing the punishment of the crimes he have committed.
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Question
Forgivness is open to anyone ..including Bush?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:08:03 PM)
Yes.
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Question
What if you can't forgive yourself?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:08:47 PM)
that is sad... very sad and most people who cant forgive others also find it hard to forgive themselves. but it is important to recognise our mistake, forgive ourselves, stop living in the past and move on to a brighter future.
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Question
Should we all forgive you for taking so long to answer our Questions Pastor?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:09:06 PM)
YES.
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Question
If your wife cheated on you, could you forgive her? How would you get over it?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:09:31 PM)
it is possible... not sure but you will try.
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Question
I think the Values and Attitudes campaign was a good Idea but it fell down because the presenters themselves had no values or Attitudes. Will this Campaign fail if the inability of Churches to get along is brought to the forefront?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:09:55 PM)
Possible.
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Question
HOW DO U FORGIVE A MAN THAT TAKE AWAY YOUR TRUST
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:11:01 PM)
it is by engaging in the act of forgiving, it is not easy, it is not simple, it is a process, it takes time, but it is necessary to relieve one self of the hate, resentment, anger and bitterness so that you can move on to even trust somebody else.
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Question
Pastor if someone was to Rape your daughter and is sentenced and in 3 yrs he was out back in society, do you see yourself forgiving him, playing dominoes with him and having him over to your house for a drink?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:12:14 PM)
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation to have a drink, to play dominoes with the person. Forgiveness at the basic level is just freeing oneself from living with bitterness, hatred and resentment in the heart.
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