Online Discussion with Rev. Devon Dick
9 April 2003
My friend is not speaking to me for months now. I have called her
on a number of occasions and she is always cold. Do I continue?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:12:16 PM)
Give her a break
I am trying as best as I can to forgive Tony Blair and George Bush
for the genocide in Iraq.....I will need all the strength I have.
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:19:00 PM)
I commend you for trying to forgive. Forgiveness is a good thing.
Forgiveness sees to resent and anger towards the offender who has
inflicted wounds, you need to forgive them. You are right you will
need all the strength because forgiveness might seem difficult,
unreasonable and unmanageable, but with the help of God and your
resolve it can be done, even if it takes time.
How do I forgive Omar Davis for what he does when keep he gets away
with his actions?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:22:14 PM)
It is said that forgiveness is the act of setting someone free,
from the obligation to you that is a result of a wrong done against
you. e.g. a debt forgiven when you free the debt of his obligation
to pay back what he owes you.
70 * 7 what was Jesus saying to me...?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:23:13 PM)
Saying that as often as someone hurts you, you must sees to feel
resentment, anger and bitterness towards them. It doesn't matter
how often the offence is committed, responsibility is still to forgive.
Is forgiveness in Jamaica just an excuse for people to do the same
old thing again?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:24:32 PM)
No! Forgiving those who are wronged us if we fail to forgive we
continue the cycle of revenge... its not an excuse but a matter
of bringing healing and moving forward.
WHY IS IT THAT REVENGE SEEMS MORE FULLFILLING THEN FORGIVNESS
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:26:08 PM)
Revenge is natural, it is easier to do, it gives you a feeling of
getting even. However, what is happening is like you fighting with
a pig in the mud, not realising that the pig is enjoying being filthy.
So, though it appears more fulfilling it still leaves bitterness
in the heart. Forgiveness is the only thing that can remove the
anger, bitterness and resentment.
So do you think the Iraqis should forgive the coalition forces even
though they have destroyed their cities, killed innocent men, women
and children all in the name of oil? And should we forgive Bush
when he decides to do it again all in the name of what??
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:28:24 PM)
It is said that when individuals refuse to forgive others for the
wrong done to them, they are doing the same thing. so instead of
holding people hostage for their demands, they are withholding love,
virtue. People believe that forgiveness mean they cant be punished
for their wrong. But this is not so.
Forgive but not forget?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:29:45 PM)
There are something's you will forgive but you wont forget. e.g.
if someone shot you and you are paralyzed everyday you see the effects
of being disabled and you wont forget that you were shot, even though
you have forgiven the person. But on the other hand there are some
offences that with time you forget.
If the People I forgive keep hurting me when do I stop?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:30:31 PM)
As often as you are hurt. You get the strength and courage to forgive.
Do you guys really believe that forgiveness can reduce Crimes?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:32:31 PM)
YES! the major motivation for murders in JA is reprisals or revenge.
32% of the murders were due to reprisals. Therefore, if persons
do not seek revenge for killings then the cycle would have been
broken and the murder rate could decline. Furthermore, the next
major reason for murders in JA, that is 27% has been classified
as domestic, so a dose of forgiveness in those situations can help
the crime rates.
How do I forgive some one who has hurt me....I can't seem to forget.
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:34:18 PM)
Forgiveness is not denying the extent of the hurt, denying that
the hurt is real but it is an attempt to seize to be bitter in ones
own self interest. Not forgiving is like drinking poison and hoping
that it will hurt the other person.
George Phang was shot 17 times the other day, how would you advise
him to look at the people who shot him up?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:36:17 PM)
I would give him the advise coming from Pastor Rawle Tyson who was
shot and is now paralyzed and in the same incident his good friend
was shot and killed. He said he found it hard to forgive at first,
but when he was able to forgive he found peace and a release and
life is better for him since.
Why do the good people always have to do the forgiving...? Surely
we should be punishing wrongdoers in our society?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:38:15 PM)
The good people have the strength and the character to forgive and
the evil people don't. They need to understand that forgiveness
does not mean that the person should not be punished for the wrong
that they have done. Forgiveness is not synonymous with pardon.
Pardon is to let the person off the hook for the consequences of
their action. Forgiveness is aimed at releasing ourselves from being
bitter to our offenders in other words not punishing ourselves twice.
To forgive is easily said than done?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:39:58 PM)
True..... but because you understand what it means to be hurt, its
not the person who does the hurting is hurt but you. so you are
willing to forgive the person so you can be free. The victim is
always the person who is hurting and feeling the pain and because
of that, that person needs to experience freedom and liberty and
that's why you will forgive the wrongdoer.
I think Ministers of the Gospel should speak about the ills in society.
Too much silence now all this talk about forgiveness? What say you?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:40:45 PM)
They are not exclusive, therefore, ministers of the gospel should
speak about the ills in society and one of the ills in society is
lack of forgiveness.
Should the ministers of this fraternity be speaking out more about
equal rights and justice.... because if their is no Justice there
can be no peace.. no forgiveness
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:41:48 PM)
No future without forgiveness just like no peace with justice...
things will continue to slide and get worse.... unless we are willing
to forgive. We have to find the will to forgive to save our nation.
How can one move forward when the same bad action is done over and
over.. I mean first time shame on the person doing the bad, second
time shame on me and the third time that is just being plain stupid.
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:42:49 PM)
Forgiveness is a sensible act. So, if someone robs you of a million
dollars and you forgive the next time around you must be more careful
with your money.
I got raped once...how do I forgive the rapists so that i may move
on with my life
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:44:55 PM)
When a person is being raped she is being violated. and there is
always a demand or ransom to be paid so the rape victim is being
held captive to bitterness, so it wont be easy, but it is necessary
to release the anger and bitterness and to recognise that you have
worth value in spite of being rape, in spite of being the victim.
The best days are yet ahead but you have to forgive.
If forgiveness is the way, should a battered and abused husband
forgive his abusive wife... (and note their are abusive wives around)
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:45:11 PM)
it here a point where u draw the line in forgiving, when you are
no longer able to forgive the same person for hurting you.....someone
who has made a career of hurting you time and again
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:46:32 PM)
How often do you forgive... is there a limit in forgiveness. God
doesn't limit his forgiveness, but you can try to avoid the person
if possible, but if they still do then you have to continue to forgive
them. Exercise some wisdom and don't try to get hurt.
Do you really believe what you are saying? Is your heart really
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:48:26 PM)
YES!! it is not easy, it is forever necessary, helpful and the most
sensible thing to do. It makes no sense to move over the past, to
dwell on the hurt, it makes better sense to free one self of bitterness,
resentment and anger and move on . Our strength and source to forgive
and do you believe it. I can do all things through Christ that strengths
Shouldn't forgiveness be for those people that try to give their
opinions as facts about the reason for the war?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:48:56 PM)
Jesus says it is because our Hearts are hard why People Divorce
but yet Pastors support divorce if the wife or husband are simply
bored of each other or at the first sign of infidelity? Why?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:51:08 PM)
True because of the unwillingness to forgive, again we say that
forgiveness involves three elements: injury, a death resulted from
the injury and a cancellation of the death. All three elements are
essential if forgiveness is to take place. So the destructive nature
of the unforgiven spirit is such that is not limited to one relationship,
so when a person is wrong in someway whether in marriage, business
or friendship rejection occurs. It is really the hardness of the
heart, the unwillingness to forgive that brings rejection.
Pastor when last have you been seriously betrayed? How do you deal
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:51:38 PM)
Forigve.... forgive... forgive.
Is their Forgiveness for Saddam and all the wicked things he did?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:51:49 PM)
Another thing pastor if every time I forgive the person does the
same thing again, Won't the persons take me as a fool and someone
who they can manipulate how do I deal with that?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:53:08 PM)
It is possible that they might think that we are stupid but, forgiveness
is a most sensible act. It is freeing ourselves of the pain of resentment
and giving ourselves an opportunity to move on to a brighter future.
Your meekness is not a sign of weakness.
Doesn't forgiveness have to start at the top...when we see politicians
from opposing parties forgiving each other
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:54:19 PM)
Forgiveness starts at the top when God in Christ Jesus forgave us
and set an example for all of us to follow. Therefore, politicians,
pastors, workers, family members must all follow that example.
Question (Apr 9, 2003 7:55:49 PM)
something is missing here .. Ii feel you guys are talking forgiveness
in a vacuum. what about love?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:55:49 PM)
Its love why you are willing to forgive... without love you wont
be able to forgive... out of love springs forgiveness. it must always
be noted that its the victim that needs to forgive the person who
has caused the hurt its because you love yourself why you are willing
to forgive the person who has cause the hurt. You love life, peace
By the way Devon, thanks for your wonderful article yesterday on
Rev. Cleve Grant.....i didn't know he died until i saw your column.
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:56:21 PM)
Your welcome... keep reading my articles and my book.
It's all well and good for me to forgive...what about those who
need to forgive me...how do I help them
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:57:19 PM)
If they know that they have hurt you, its for the person that hurt
you to know that they have hurt you. You can't force a person to
forgive you, you can only set the example for them to follow.
What about the eye for an eye and the tooth for a tooth policy
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:57:54 PM)
That was talking about the punishment must fit the crime. It is
not talking about revenge.
I know everything you say about forgiving is great, but I find it
harder to do when I am actually the one that has to do the forgiving.....
My Question is it always best to tell the person u are forgiving
that you have or can you make them go on thinking you haven't
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 7:59:40 PM)
Its natural to not wanting to forgive, the easiest thing is always
to resent the person but it is for you to be honest with yourself
and tell your self that I am going to forgive that person and wont
be a hypocrite and be frank and be willing to forgive. Its always
easier to conceive the hurt than come forward and face the person.
You say all these things....but you are still not telling me how
to forgive...How do I do it? What are the steps? What are the benefits?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:02:09 PM)
Face the hurt and the pain, if you are going to forgive you must
let God search your heart. Decide that you will not retaliate, then
decide to forgive. Call the persons by name that you want to forgive
and then forgive. You might write the names on a paper and destroy
the paper as a sign that you are free from that pain. Do not expect
though that if you forgive the person that person will change instead
just pray for that person. In addition try to understand the people
you have forgiven, they also need help. And then thank God for the
lessons you have learnt and recognise that we are not perfect, we
have hurt others also.
Do you think Jamaicans are a forgiving set of people?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:03:47 PM)
Yes and no because you have people who are always willing to forgive..
there are example of mothers who have lost their children in murder
cold bloodly and they are willing to forgive. Grace Christy, Heather
Little-White and others who have lost their children who were murdered
were willing to forgive.
Ministers of the gospel might as well be called...'Ministers of
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:04:11 PM)
Please forgive them.
Ministers should..... look at Jamaicans for Justice, FAST, JIHRC...
They speak loud and clear why are the pastors so silent.... Does
this Fraternity plan to change this?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:04:38 PM)
And there are christians in those organisations
jus want to make a comment...one has to learn to forgive in order
to be forgiven..its hard yes...you have done what is required of
you..the rest is up to the next person
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:04:54 PM)
There comes I time when God does not forgive anymore... and he wipes
you out is that not through?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:05:49 PM)
God forgives but he punishes for the crimes.. His forgiveness is
unlimited, but because you are forgiven does not mean you wont pay
for the crime.
Okay I like everything you are saying, but be honest isn't it human
nature to (at least I know I do) to basically do something no matter
who gets hurts when you know that you will be forgiven??????????
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:06:27 PM)
That is a bad idea.
How do you gives tell the street boy at the stoplights about forgiveness
when everday people treat them like dogs...?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:07:08 PM)
Still tell them about it.. its no option, its not something that
you have a limit to.
Unless a man is a Christian or looks to God can he really forgive?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:07:24 PM)
Yes he can.
Good Question...with that I would like to say....since Saddam is
so evil shouldn't America and the rest of the world forgive him
instead of resorting to murder
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:07:54 PM)
Forgive him but does not remove him for facing the punishment of
the crimes he have committed.
Forgivness is open to anyone ..including Bush?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:08:03 PM)
What if you can't forgive yourself?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:08:47 PM)
that is sad... very sad and most people who cant forgive others
also find it hard to forgive themselves. but it is important to
recognise our mistake, forgive ourselves, stop living in the past
and move on to a brighter future.
Should we all forgive you for taking so long to answer our Questions
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:09:06 PM)
If your wife cheated on you, could you forgive her? How would you
get over it?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:09:31 PM)
it is possible... not sure but you will try.
I think the Values and Attitudes campaign was a good Idea but it
fell down because the presenters themselves had no values or Attitudes.
Will this Campaign fail if the inability of Churches to get along
is brought to the forefront?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:09:55 PM)
HOW DO U FORGIVE A MAN THAT TAKE AWAY YOUR TRUST
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:11:01 PM)
it is by engaging in the act of forgiving, it is not easy, it is
not simple, it is a process, it takes time, but it is necessary
to relieve one self of the hate, resentment, anger and bitterness
so that you can move on to even trust somebody else.
Pastor if someone was to Rape your daughter and is sentenced and
in 3 yrs he was out back in society, do you see yourself forgiving
him, playing dominoes with him and having him over to your house
for a drink?
Devon_Dick_Co. (Apr 9, 2003 8:12:14 PM)
Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation to have a drink,
to play dominoes with the person. Forgiveness at the basic level
is just freeing oneself from living with bitterness, hatred and
resentment in the heart.